Don’t Worry
Don’t worry is difficult to do. I found a piece of wisdom years ago in a book on Grace. Sadly, I don’t remember the title or author. Yet the wisdom remains, don’t worry. The idea is that one of our major challenges in life is what we do with the uneasy feeling when we believe there is a difference between the way things are and the way we think they should be. Perhaps it is just another way of saying “Life isn’t fair.” M. Scott Peck said as much in his book The Road Less Traveled. There is a current strong theme in our culture that encourages people to instead embrace a victim mentality. You are a victim and it’s someone else’s fault. It encourages whining and protest. It does very little to move a person forward to a better life.
Certainly there are people who have been victimized. There are too many, and we ought to do what we can to help. However, for most of us placing our faith, and trust in God and moving forward is the better choice. Worry is useless. It changes nothing except cause more stress.
How to cope
My first wife, Lily, became seriously and chronically ill after we had been married less than a year. She was diagnosed with a form of Muscular Dystrophy, and Scleroderma. Her prognosis was about three years. By the Grace of God she lived 29. Her deep spiritual life along with the many prayers of others helped her thrive in spite of the illness. She kept a collection of index cards upon which she had written positive affirmations. My favorite was “The worse you feel the better you dress!”
The right question
After Lily died I remarried. Brenda has another strategy when things go awry. She asks two important questions. What is the worst that can happen? What is the next right decision? Then putting one foot in front of the other she moves towards progress. Along the way we need to avoid thinking like a victim and act like a survivor. We need to trust that God is in control and has a plan for love and blessings.
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11 NIV
My strategy
My strategy is along these lines. I work like it all depends on me while I trust and pray it all depends on God! One example from my life is from the time I went to seminary. Seminary is a graduate school. It is three to four years of expensive education. When I headed to my first semester I had only about $500 in the bank. My prayer to the Lord was, “This was your idea you can figure out how to pay for it.” I can truthfully say I didn’t worry about tuition, housing, meals, books, anything! The school’s policy was one of thirds. They expected the denomination would help, the school would provide some scholarship, and the students would use one third of their savings each year. Between a number of small and large grants, part time work, and the generosity of others I graduated debt free and we never went hungry.
All things work together for good
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28 NIV
This verse also helps me not to worry when bad things happen. A year ago we went through what I call a season of financial difficulties. It seemed like one thing after another. The freezer broke for $120. The oven another $120 visit from the repair guy. Our grandson lost his retainer, $500. Brenda needed dental work $2000, and I lost my job! Then to top it all off our vehicle burned to the ground! Through it all, again by the Grace of God, I was able to say, “All things work together for good.” Our KIA Sedona had over 230,000 miles on it. Instead of an insurance pavement I expected of about $4000 we received over $23,000. Plus at a time when new vehicles were scarce and loans were expensive we were able to find a great truck and finance at only 2.8 % with a good down payment.
While I haven’t replaced my part time job we are doing well with our other sources of income and I am taking the opportunity to do more prison ministry and to write.
Another way to move forward in life as not only a survivor but a thriver is to be aiming toward a high goal or a meaningful purpose. Dr. Jordon B. Peterson has written two great books of Rules for Life and has provided much teaching on line and in lectures around the world. His basic message is one of encouragement. He is helping, especially young men, to take up responsibility for their lives and make progress to becoming successful in relationships, employment, and overall competence. He makes a strong case that it is in pursuing a worthy goal that we find meaning in life. Moreover, he tells us that in voluntary self sacrifice can come the seeds of success in life. There is more to us than we know. This message along side of “don’t worry” is a powerful combination.
Questions for reflection
1 Under what kinds of situations do you tend to worry?
2 What are your fall back strategies to cope with difficulties?
3 What goals are you aiming toward and how do you see God leading you in that direction?