Blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted.
Blessed are those who mourn. The first beatitude leads to the second.When we truly reach bottom, we break through denial. We mourn the many losses that came to us as we relied only on our own resources. We understand how our weaknesses and misdeeds have led to broken relationships and missed opportunities.
The Blessing
The good news is as we mourn, we are also blessed. When we grieve several things happen. God has created us in such a way that tears are in fact good for us. When we cry chemicals are released that help us. God comforts us in many ways. We now know and experience His love and continuing relationship with us. We are also more open to the care and comfort of others. This is not only true in the time immediately after our spiritual awakening. It is a blessing that continues with us along The Way as we follow Jesus.
Death of a spouse
As difficult as it is when a parent dies, it seemed to me ten times worse when my wife, Lily, died. (That is a long story I share in Six Things Before You Die.) The pain was not only emotional. It hurt physically. I came to understand why people say they have a broken heart. The Sunday following her funeral I was back leading worship. As I looked out at the congregation, I could see several members who had also lost a spouse. As I looked into their eyes, I experienced a deep comfort coming from their understanding of my loss. In conversation following the service I asked one how she managed and what advice she might give. “There is no right way to do this. You just find your own path as it is meaningful for you.” Her honest words, and willingness to be present with me in my grief was indeed a comfort.
The Farewell Tour
I decided my way to grieve would include sharing it with others who had known and loved her. I had a month of sabbatical time due. I decided to take what I called The Lily Farewell Tour. I rented a Chevy Blazer and planned a trip to include the many churches we had served as well as family and friends along the way. One of those places is Tucson. She always said she wanted to be buried in the desert. That became my destination by way of Florida, North Carolina, New York, and Massachusetts.
Rochester
Lily’s family lives in Rochester, New York. It is where we met when I was in seminary at Bexley Hall. They arranged for a memorial service at their church. Her sister Cathy gave a touching eulogy and her young nephew Marcus preached an eloquent sermon. When I reached Tucson there was yet another memorial at the church where I buried her ashes. Former parishioners attended and we had fellowship together afterwards. All in all, the trip was a great comfort to me and healing for all involved.
Humility
As we mourn, we are only able to receive comfort if we have the humility to let our guard down. When we tough it out with a ‘stiff upper lip’ and a false bravado we cut ourselves off from the comfort of God and others. However, with a willingness to be comforted we move toward the next Beatitude, meekness.
Questions for reflection and/or discussion
1.Reflect upon a time when you experienced grief.