The Story of Cain and Able has fascinated me for years. I realize many people believe all of the Bible is literally true. A more reasonable approach is to believe the Bible provides us with truth with many different kinds of writing. The fancy seminary word for this is “genre.” The Bible does have some history. However it also has poetry, genealogy, legend and myth. These are no less “true,” in their own way. Such is the account of the first children, the brothers, Cain and Able.
Most people remember that Cain killed his brother Able. Most are also familiar with his question, “Am I my brother’s keeper,” However, the whole of the story is also important. We are told that Cain was a farmer while Able was a shepherd. They each made an offering of their produce to the Lord. Abel’s was accepted while Cain’s was not. We are not told why?
Next we are told there is a conversation between the Lord and Cain. God tells Cain to be careful or his jealousy and disappointment may lead to a worse situation. He says “sin is crouching at your door.” Some scholars think this is a reference to a pagan god statue that some people kept at the entrance to their homes.
Cain as we know does not take the advice or warning. Instead he lures Able into his field and kills him. Next we have the more well known interchange. God asks Cain about the whereabouts of his brother. Cain replies those well known words, “Am I my brother’s keeper.”
Of course the Lord already knows. “Abel’s blood cries out from the ground.” Cain his cursed and banished, but protected not killed. He goes forth to found a city. Legends say he was the father of blacksmiths and the makers of weapons.
It is obviously not helpful to ask questions like, “Where did Cain’s wife come from?” The Bethel Bible Study course teaches that we must “Think Hebrew” to avoid such “Greek” questions. In other words we need to take the story on face value and seek whatever truth there is to find.
Some scholars suggest this story has it’s roots in the conflict between herders, farmers, and city dwellers. However, the truths for us lie in the interchanges between the Lord and Cain. The first of these truths was summed up well in M. Scott Peck’s book, The Road Less Traveled. Life is hard and not fair – get used to it! If we ruminate on what seems unfair we will be tempted to do something that will make life even worse than it seems. Others have also suggested that one of our biggest challenges in life is how we deal with the gap between what is and how we think things are supposed to be! In other words, deal with the tension or you just might kill someone!
When discussing this story Dr. Jordon Peterson focuses on the sacrifices. Poor sacrifices lead to bad outcomes. Good ones improve the future.
Let us take a closer look at that we’ll known phrase, “my brother’s keeper.” Most people, indeed most clergy think this is something to which we should aspire. I disagree! Yes, Jesus teaches us to clothe the naked, feed the hungry, tend the sick and visit prisoners. However, it is not our responsibility to “keep” anyone, other than our young children.
When Cain asks the question the irony of it isn’t missed by the Lord. “Cain you took the ultimate responsibility for your brother’s life! You killed him!”
This is an important life lesson for anyone tempted to be what is called Codependent. Along the way I came across these few questions to help determine if I should help someone.
Could they do it for themselves?
Did they ask for my help?
Will I or they resent it afterwards?
Do I want to do it more out of my need for inner peace than their need for outer assistance?
“Hello, my name is Geoffrey and I am Co-dependent, and I am powerless over others.” I learned to live the 12 Steps in a CoDa (Codependents Anonymous) Group during my years in Tucson Arizona. I was fortunate to find a “closed” group limited to “helping professionals.” There were medical people of all kinds from doctors and nurses to a podiatrist, as well as counselors, social workers, and clergy. We had what most would call successful lives and careers. Yet, we all struggled for one reason or another over our addiction to help people who should be helping themselves. We were often tempted to be the keepers of our brother’s and sisters, mothers or fathers, children, clients, or coworkers. There I prayed along with others, “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change…..”
Yes there are plenty of times for us to help others for plenty of good reasons. Two family stories come to mind. One day I asked my mother about an event from my childhood. “Mom, I said, “ When those people had a car accident in front of our house what motivated you to invite them in and give them lunch?” With a smile she replied, “Well since your father backed into them I thought it was the least that I could do.” A second story also includes my Mom. We were living outside of town at the time with only a few relatively distant neighbors. One night in the evening there was a banging and screaming at the back door. It was a farmers wife from way across the field. Her blouse was torn off her shoulder. Her hair was tousled, her eyes were wild. “He’s drunk and after me with his shotgun!” She shouted. Mom took her in and called the police.
Questions from Cain and Able
How do you handle your jealousies and disappointments?
Are you tempted to be “your brother’s or sister’s keeper?
What are the gaps between the way life is and the way you think it should be?
In the context of the Serenity Prayer are you clear about what you can change and what you can’t change?
Are you making good sacrifices?