MBTI Compatibility: ENTJ & INTJ


MBTI Compatibility: ENTJ & INTJ

Common assumptions about choice of mate are suggested by two common phrases: Birds of a feather flock together; opposites attract. When considering Personality Type differences we may see that sometimes, both are true for some couples. 

Building and maintaining a healthy relationship with your spouse is essential for a fulfilling and harmonious life together. However, each individual possesses a unique personality, and understanding how to relate to your spouse based on their personality type can greatly enhance your connection. In this essay, we will explore how to relate to an ENTJ (Extraverted, Intuitive, Thinking, Judging) and an INTJ (Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking, Judging) spouse, two personality types from the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI).

Understanding the ENTJ Spouse:

ENTJs are known for their strong-willed and assertive nature. To relate to an ENTJ spouse effectively, consider the following:

1.Respect their Independence: ENTJs value independence and self-sufficiency. Give them space to pursue their goals and interests without feeling suffocated.

2.Be Direct and Open: ENTJs appreciate honesty and direct communication. Avoid passive-aggressive behavior or sugar-coating issues; instead, address concerns straightforwardly.

3.Share Intellectual Conversations: Engaging in intellectually stimulating conversations is a great way to connect with an ENTJ. They enjoy discussing ideas, theories, and problem-solving.

4.Support Their Goals: Show support for their ambitions and help them achieve their objectives. Providing encouragement and assistance in their endeavors is a sure way to win their admiration.

5.Recognize Their Need for Efficiency: ENTJs appreciate efficiency and structured plans. Being organized and goal-oriented in your daily life can resonate with their preferences.

Understanding the INTJ Spouse:

INTJs are analytical and strategic thinkers. To relate to an INTJ spouse effectively, consider the following:

1.Respect Their Need for Solitude: INTJs value their alone time for introspection and deep thinking. Respect their need for solitude and allow them to recharge.

2.Engage in Intellectual Discussions: INTJs thrive on intellectual discussions and debates. Engage in conversations that challenge their intellect and allow them to express their ideas.

3.Be Patient and Flexible: INTJs can be perfectionists and may have high standards. Be patient and flexible, understanding that they may need time to make decisions or complete tasks to their satisfaction.

4.Appreciate Their Independence: Like ENTJs, INTJs value independence. Encourage their pursuits and give them space to work on personal projects and interests.

5.Support Their Vision: INTJs often have grand visions and long-term goals. Show support for their plans and help them achieve their objectives by offering practical assistance and encouragement.

The differences of Extroversion and Introversion may be a source of conflict. However, these can be lessened as couples come to appreciate and make accommodation for the differences.  Dominate Extroverts and dominant Introverts can learn to get along. At the base of any disagreements is the fact that these two types are energized opposite ways.

It is just as the labels suggest. Extroverts are energized in the outer world interacting with other people. Introverts are energized while alone nurturing their inner selves.

The classic differences are usually described in relationship to attendance at parties and other gatherings. Extroverted types arrive early, talk to everyone, and are among the last to leave, exhilarated.  Introverted types arrive late, perhaps talk to just a few others or maybe only one or none, and leave early exhausted.

Another difference reveals itself in conversations. I can tell you, being a strong Extroverted type, that I almost can’t think without speaking or writing. If you start a conversation with me, especially by asking a question, I immediately begin to speak. What you hear will not be my best thought. I’m just getting warmed up. I used to tell my late wife, “Remember, dear, I don’t know it’s stupid until I hear myself say it!”

Introverts are the opposite. They think internally to themselves, considering the alternatives. The first thing you get is silence. When they do speak it is their best thought already formed. 

Thus if, as an Extrovert, you wish to have a serious conversation with an Introvert,  it is best to suggest a time in the future. Then when the appointed time arrives limit your speaking to leave room for the Introvert because they are not liable to interrupt you.

Meanwhile, it is helpful for Introverted types to know these things about their Extroverted companions. Try to be understanding when they cut into your comments. You might go so far as to make a time out sign when we Extroverts have not let you speak.

As with any couples who share a temperament, in this case NT (Intuitive Thinking) there can be “blind spots” related to the missing preferences of SP (Sensing Perception). The “absent minded professor” stereotype comes to mind. It could be restorative for this couple to unwind together with a bit in nature. Perhaps, bird watching might be a hobby, or hiking. Fly fishing and the like. They could mingle their academic preferences with some fun. 

Another challenge could come with children. This is especially true if they are  Dominant Feeling types. When evaluating Thinkers tend to criticize first and appreciate second. This could be devastating for a child proud of his or her refrigerator art.

Conclusion:

Relating to your spouse, whether they are an ENTJ or INTJ, requires understanding and adapting to their unique personality traits. Both types value intellectual stimulation, independence, and support for their goals, but they differ in their social preferences and communication styles. By respecting their individual needs and personalities, you can build a strong and fulfilling relationship with your ENTJ or INTJ spouse, fostering love and connection that lasts a lifetime.

 

For a more complete understating of Personality Type see the series of post by clicking HERE!

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