No Free Lunch

My Dad had many wise sayings, but the one I remember best is There is No Free Lunch. Dad was good with kids. He was happy to get right down on the floor and play. As my brother and I got older he took up fishing as a way to share an interest with us. It was my impression, which I appreciate more now than then, that he cared more about time with us than he did about the fishing. There were no bumper stickers saying “a bad day fishing is better than a good day at work!” Dad had a strong work ethic. He was definitely a member of Dan Rather’s “Greatest Generation.” He lived through the depression and fought in WWII. He was probably a workaholic. One of is favorite sayings was “There is no such thing as a free lunch.”  I can’t remember him saying so, however, I also most likely learned from him that “if it seems to good to be true it probably is.”  When others are ready to “buy” every “news” item they read on the Internet or get in an email, I usually take the time to check it out on sites that expose hoaxes.  When Dad said, “There is no free lunch.”  He wasn’t just being a pessimist. He knew you might “pay” for things with currencies other than cold hard cash. One early morning when we were going fishing we stopped to rent an aluminum boat. When the man came to the door he recognized my father. He set us up with the boat and said, “just take it there will be no charge.” Later, I asked my Dad, “If there is no free lunch, how did we get the boat.? He replied, “I don’t even know the man’s name. But I see him in the hall at the Plant everyday. I smile and say hello. Small kindnesses are well appreciated! And that is why he is letting us use his boat.” Dad also had a sort of weird, off kilter way of looking at the world. I didn’t see it often, but now and then there would be these odd conversations in which he would indicate that some commonly held beliefs might just be arbitrary. He’d ask, for example things like, “Is black really black. Could it be white?” Or he would ask riddles that would make me think.  There were two Indians going down the river in a canoe: a big Indian and a little Indian. Now the little Indian was the big Indian’s son, but the big Indian wasn’t the little Indian’s father. Who was the big Indian? Answer: his mother of course. Sometimes the obvious is hidden by prejudice. The was a similar riddle involving a patient and his surgeon. There were not many women surgeons then, and maybe not so many still? Mom shared a plethora of old English folk wisdom, she learned as a child in London. She passed them on to my sister, brother, and me as the occasion called required.   A stitch in time saves nine. Let sleeping dogs lie. Once bitten; twice shy. A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. Out of sight; out of mind. Out of the frying pan; into the fire. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink. All that glitters is not gold. More haste, less speed. You can not make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear. People in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones. You might as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb. A nod is as good as a wink to a blind horse. If wishes were horses then beggars would ride. It turnips were watches I’d wear one by my side. A penny saved is a penny earned. Take care of the pennies and the pounds will take care of themselves. Cut your coat according to you clothe. Too many cooks spoil the broth. Easy come, easy go better late than never. Look before you leap. A stitch in time saves nine. Well begun is half done. Mom also taught us “common courtesy.” We learned “please and thank you. Excuse me, and May I “. She also taught me to open doors for women and the elderly and to escort a woman on the street side of a sidewalk. I hope much of this was not new and that some was extra wisdom for you.

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